Romans 12:18 

 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 

One of the problems with having family members who are addicts is the incredible overwhelming desire to help them past this time in their lives and onto recovery.

So much as been written and said on the matter.

Everything from, “they have to want to change” to “ you can’t help them” and everything in between.

It has even been explained this way:

If an animal is in a trapped in a vice, he is in so much pain that he will lash out at the one who is trying to help him out of the trap.

Experience says.. this is truth.

So we teeter between our Christian and ethical duty to help this person and being verbally and sometimes physically lashed out at.

And so the addict has a cycle and so does the family member.

I remembered this Scripture, “if it be possible, as much as it lieth in you.. as much as it lieth in you.. those words just kept going around in my mind. If it were up to me I would see my siblings every day. I would interact with them, I would tell them how much I miss them, how much I love them, how much it tears me up to see them live in this fog and I would be that constant for them in every way that I could.

But it doesn’t all lie with me.. they are part of the equation too.

And we circle back to the wounded animal in the trap and the anger that is directed toward us.

So we step back, leaving them in pain, but know we cannot reach them.

Not yet anyway.

There are words spoken, actions taken from my siblings that if anyone else would have done or said those things to me, I would have avoided them. They would not be a part of my everyday life. And we think because it’s family, it’s an excuse to stay in the line of fire.

It’s not.

The Lord gives me strength to try again when it is time and they might welcome another attempt to help them from the snare they are in.

But the Lord also gives me His word that says.. if it’s possible, live peaceably with all men.. but if it cannot be, in this moment of time, it’s ok to walk away for awhile.