Romans 12:18 

 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 

One of the problems with having family members who are addicts is the incredible overwhelming desire to help them past this time in their lives and onto recovery.

So much as been written and said on the matter.

Everything from, “they have to want to change” to “ you can’t help them” and everything in between.

It has even been explained this way:

If an animal is in a trapped in a vice, he is in so much pain that he will lash out at the one who is trying to help him out of the trap.

Experience says.. this is truth.

So we teeter between our Christian and ethical duty to help this person and being verbally and sometimes physically lashed out at.

And so the addict has a cycle and so does the family member.

I remembered this Scripture, “if it be possible, as much as it lieth in you.. as much as it lieth in you.. those words just kept going around in my mind. If it were up to me I would see my siblings every day. I would interact with them, I would tell them how much I miss them, how much I love them, how much it tears me up to see them live in this fog and I would be that constant for them in every way that I could.

But it doesn’t all lie with me.. they are part of the equation too.

And we circle back to the wounded animal in the trap and the anger that is directed toward us.

So we step back, leaving them in pain, but know we cannot reach them.

Not yet anyway.

There are words spoken, actions taken from my siblings that if anyone else would have done or said those things to me, I would have avoided them. They would not be a part of my everyday life. And we think because it’s family, it’s an excuse to stay in the line of fire.

It’s not.

The Lord gives me strength to try again when it is time and they might welcome another attempt to help them from the snare they are in.

But the Lord also gives me His word that says.. if it’s possible, live peaceably with all men.. but if it cannot be, in this moment of time, it’s ok to walk away for awhile.

What you learn in the Light

Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Don’t forget in the darkness what you learned in the light.

How many of us can find our way from our bedrooms to the bathroom at midnight? with no lights on?

It would be a safe guess to say that every one of us can manage this feat.

How can we do this?

How do we maneuver in the dark and not hit anything or hurt ourselves?

It's because during the day we learned where everything is and we know that we've changed nothing.

We don’t forget in the darkness what we've learned in the light.

Spiritually speaking the light is knowledge, truth, safety, peace, joy, strength, fortitude&  reasonable. It is good and pure and we like it in the light.

Darkness is doubt and fear and uncertainty and loss and unanswered questions. It is everything contrary to what we know in the light.

"Stumbling around in the dark" is not possible when you know what's there.

Even in the dark, we can still walk.

God is the same yesterday today and forever.

He does not change.

Nothing’s changed in the Light so we can find our way through the darkness.

The same God that helped Moses lead millions is the same God who will help lead your family.

The same Spirit the disciples had is still the same one that’s available to you and I today.

A calender moment

Every one of us has experienced a “Calendar moment”.

While driving my car came up over a hill and standing there waiting for me to see was… a calendar moment.

Those pictures that are special enough, timely enough, minus the effects that are so easy to make in this computer age, to make it on a scenic calendar.

100% pure gift from the Lord.

The mist covering the trees was perfect.

The sunlight was perfect.

The fall colors on the trees; perfect.

It was a snapshot moment in time.

It couldn’t be seen 30 seconds before and then 30 seconds later, it was gone.

The calendar moment was gone because I was in a different place, the light was different, the mist had fallen a bit more.

But in that moment of time, I could appreciate the beauty my eyes beheld and how much the Lord loves us to provide this kind of scene. He didn’t have to.

And He didn’t have to let us understand what we were seeing.

That moment gave and continues to give me hope for the situations in my life that are less than perfect right now.

If we don’t see the glory of the Lord in that moment, if we don’t see His perfect plan coming together in a moment of time that steals our very breath and humbles us to the magnificent orchestration of the Lord God Almighty; know this.. we are either coming up on it very shortly or we are too close to it so we can’t see it right now. But we will.

When the Lord pulls us along, and we turn our thoughts to what He has brought us through. When we catch a glimpse in retrospect, we have just had a “calendar moment”.

And then we learn,

We learn to look for them, people and situations from far off and can catch a glimpse of the beauty of it all.

Grandma Gigi says...

Power to the faint

Isaiah 40:29-31 

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

He gives power to the faint!! Power to endure, power to walk through the dry valley, power to think on good things, power to encourage, power to hold our heads up, power to rebuke the devils lies, power to remember His Word that lives in us! Power to still raise our hands in worship and praise, power to wait. Power to stand, power to fight, power to hope.

How wonderful is that.. how full of wonder is that, that all of those promises of Power are living and breathing in our weakness!

No wonder Paul said, if I am going to glory in anything, I will glory in my weakness. I think he knew all the Divine power that would surface when he, when we, reach that place of brokenness, emptiness, weakness in ourselves.

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God

My thoughts today go toward the parable of the prodigal.

As I thought of this it occurred to me that:

#1 the father didn’t go out and try to compel his son to come back

#2 the brother didn’t go out and try to compel his brother to come back.

They didn’t “enable” the prodigal to live in that detrimental lifestyle.

It was only after enough horrific experiences and enough soul searching that the prodigal decided and made up his mind that it was better at his father’s house.

So why do parents enable their addicted children?

There are as many answers to that as there are addictions and the stories behind them.

The parent who won’t admit their child is addicted.

The one who is blinded to it.

The one who thinks they can help bring them out of the addiction.

The one who has already lost one child and cannot withstand the idea of losing another one so they do whatever they have to do to ensure this child stays alive, each and every day.

Go easy on the parents.

We have no idea the thoughts that plague them.

The memories that comfort them.

The hope that keeps them.

I had to learn, again, that I have no control over addict or the parent or the choices either of them make in their life. For a split second it was a terrifying thought, that God is in complete control, that I never had any and I remembered the Scripture:

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” Hebrews 10:31

I understand that now to mean, when you understand how all powerful He is, it will make your heart stop for a second, your eyes will open a bit wider, you will smile a little bit at how little we are and how big He is and then the all encompassing comfort comes from knowing the Lord is truly in control.

He always was.

A fixed fight

I believe that even while the Israelites were in the desert for 40 years that they still enjoyed their lives and had moments of love, joy, peace hope, laughter, play. Even in the midst of the walk, I believe there were still marriages and celebrations and I believe the kids played. Through uncertainty, people were still given in marriage. Through heartache and trials,  there were still celebrations. When the older people grew weary, I believe the kids still frolicked and played.

Even as one who stands on the outside looking in on family members who are struggling with addiction, I have a choice to get bogged down in it or to walk that fine line of compassion and care for them while still enjoying my own life.

For a long time when I first realized that my siblings had a drug problem, I would find myself so upset about it, so down at the prospect of where their lives might go or what they might do, it started to affect my own life.

It is the Lord who gives “joy unspeakable” and that joy can live and grow even in the midst of a family members chaotic lifestyle. It is HIM who I rely on and who strengthens me. It is Him who gives me hope and it is He who will deliver them from their addictions.

A point in case is an event that happened last night.

I was asked to create a prayer request form.

In my haste to get this done before prayer I wrote down the Scripture Psalm 55:15.  

It was supposed to be 55:17.

If you get your Bibles out, you will see there is a pretty significant difference between the two. It’s pretty hysterical

I suppose if I could offer anything, I would offer to you that you can and should enjoy your life. Until their deliverance, You will always live in the shadow of your loved ones addiction. But keep in mind, that without a LIGHT, there cannot be a shadow.

The Word says..”The joy of the Lord is my strength” Nehemiah 8:10   I believe this to be a two-fold message of hope and promise.

On one hand, to live a life pleasing to God ensures His power and strength in our lives.

On the other hand, to choose joy in the midst of sorrow and trials and uncertainties, proves to the Lord that you trust Him to work everything out for you and it makes you strong. The joy of knowing He’s the almighty God and He’s on your side and it’s a fixed fight, means we can all go forward in Him.

Words that inspire from "Share the being"

“…I’ll tell you the place I like to read about Judas because I think he was within a hairs breath of being changed by Jesus’  love for him. It’s over in John’s gospel at the last supper and Jesus was saying in  deep agitation of the spirit. “In truth I tell you one of you is going to betray me”. And the disciples looked at one another in bewilderment. “Who could he be talking about?”. And one of them, “the disciple whom Jesus loved” a humble term that John used to describe himself was sitting by Jesus and Simon Peter leaned over and whispered.”Ask Him who He means”. And John, as he reclined, leaned over toward Jesus and just as cool as he could , like it really wasn’t a big deal or anything like that said, “Who  is it?”. You know you have to be calm in situations like that when you’re asking a question you’re dying to know the answer to and yet you want to look like you are just mildly interested.

Jesus said, “it is the man to whom I give this piece of bread after I have dipped in the dish”. So it must have been fairly obvious when he handed the bread to Judas. Then he said to Judas, “Whatever you feel you must do, go ahead now and do it”.

Now here’s the interesting part to me. Here was this small group of thirteen people eating supper in a small room and Jesus spoke to Judas in such a quiet tone that when he left he room the next verse says that no one else at the table knew why he left or what Jesus meant. They supposed he had gone to pay for the meal or make some arrangements about giving to the poor.

Jesus, in the last hours before His deepest agony and travail, within hours of an excruciating death was still making quiet, kindly entreaties to his betrayer. If it had been you or me, we would probably have probably said to the others, “There he is, the dirty fink, after all I’ve done for him. He’s the one. He’s headed out right now to finish the deed. He never has really understood or really been one of us. But just before he goes I want the other eleven of you to look at him. I want you to see what a betrayer looks like- we ought to shave his head or something. See him, low down betrayer. He’s the one. You can leave now.. go on .. beat it!”

But quietly he said, “if you must, if you’re in so deep, you cant’ turn back- go ahead and don’t prolong your suffering. I believe with all my heart if Judas had said “it’s too late to stop it now, but I am so sorry and miserable-would you forgive me?” there would be a story in the gospel about a Judas whose life would have been different because  Jesus loved and cared right to the end. I believe that if Judas had come to the cross the next day when Christ was so nearly dead, He coudlnt’ have spoken. His eyes would have said to Judas, “It is okay, you are forgiven” and that look of love would have changed the life of Judas forever.

Jesus chose the power of love and believed in it’s ability to change the hearts of man.

Day 1

People often look at drug addiction as a personal battle between the addict and the drug.

Often overlooked are the family members who wage war from time to time alongside the addict.

We stand on the sidelines and weep as the battle takes its toll on that person we love.

Every now and then we step into the chaos and ultimately end up getting hurt ourselves.

So we step back outside the battle line and wait and pray.

This cycle goes on for years until there comes a time when you have to choose, once and for all, to stand on the outside and watch and pray.

That is where I am.

Two siblings in a prescription fog and I can’t reach them and they seem to be perfectly content there.

Not caring how much they’ve lost, how much more they can lose, just in a daze.

The Bible says when you’ve done all you can do to stand. Stand.

This blog was inspired by a Parable I remembered this morning.

Luke 13:6-9

⁶Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. ⁷So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'  ⁸" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. ⁹If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "

So I prayed, “Lord, one more year.. please”.

So here I am, believing & trusting the Lord will restore my brother in a year.

Stepping out in faith.

I decided a couple of days ago to finally confront my brother with the what I knew about his lifestyle.

It was the truth and it was not received well at all.

In fact, this was his response:

.  ..At any rate, I want you out of my life forever. 

My husband, who was an addict for 35 years, helps me to understand where addicts are at each time I decide to step into the battlefield.

Addicts do not believe there is anything wrong with them. So, if you point out what *is* wrong.. they think you are crazy.

(I know, I had to run that around in my mind a few times ).

I hope this blog will help you.. I hope your stories of faith will help me.

These prescription drugs are not like anything else we have ever encountered so far in our lives.

It’s reaching epidemic proportions and in reading and studying Revelation, the word Sorcery is defined as this:

Revelation in Rev 9:21 and 18:23. The last two are derived from the definition above. They are derived from pharmakeia /far·mak·i·ah/ and look at the primary definition listed first and also the second. It deals heavily with the administration of drugs or poisons. For me this was an eye opener.

Do you realize how powerful the modern day ‘drug companies’ or can we say -pharmaceutical companies are? Do you realize how many people around the world are daily on a regimen that includes these drugs that are being manufactured by the billions of pills each and every day. It seems as though the more sick the world gets, the more pills, potions, lotions, injections, vaccines, etc that we are sold.